How to talk to your teenager

Talking to your teenager

• Talking to a teenager can sometimes be hard.
• Some teenagers find it hard to share information.
• Teenagers’ brains are changing fast.
• Changes in a teenager’s brain can make it hard for them to control their feelings.
• When you talk to your teenager, they may become emotional.

Pick a good time to talk

• Try to talk to your teenager when they seem relaxed.
• If your teenager is tired after a long day at school, wait until the weekend to talk.
• Sometimes it can be easier for teenagers to talk while they are doing something else.
• Try talking with your teenager while going for a walk together or driving in the car.

Learn about your teenager

• Knowing what your teenager is going through will help you feel more connected to them.
• Are there any situations your teenager finds stressful?
• Are there any friends your teenager is having trouble with?
• Is there a subject at school your teenager finds very hard?

Talk about your own feelings

• When you share how you feel, it can help your teenager talk about their feelings.
• Your teenager can understand their own feelings better when you share yours.

Listen more than you speak

• It’s okay to sit in silence until your teenager is ready to speak.
• Try not to give your teenager advice unless they ask for it.
• Try not to correct what your teenager says – just let your teenager share with you.

Show your teenager how you feel about them

• Tell your teenager that they can talk to you about anything.
• Tell your teenager you love them and will help them.

Keep trying

• It can take time to build a connection with your teenager.
• You may need to keep trying.
• Make time to do activities with your teenager and let them choose what you do together.

Ask for help if you need it

• If you need help supporting your teenager, please contact their school.
• Schools have guidance officers who can help teenagers with their learning, behaviour and mental health needs.